Getting Along....

I don't really know when i turned an atheist. No, there's no incident linked to it. I guess one morning I just woke up and questioned the existence of something of which there was no physical proof. It brought a major change in me. Things were no longer sugar-coated and everything seemed to have a second side in it. But the worst effect of the change was that I became a cynic and erased every last shred of understanding in me. I wasn't a model son, a model brother, a model boyfriend or even a model friend, but I became (much to my surprise) even worse than what I was. Harsh logic came in and I felt that I could be an island and live myself. I snubbed my girlfriends, laughed when my friends prayed and scoffed at my parents for bowing to an idol made of plaster-of-Paris. Needless to say, I was definitely the model a**hole. Then I showed up here. My temperament didn't change even in the least. I made friends, but never discarded my attitude. I made a girlfriend, but still failed to treat her special. And my parents suffered my attitude even more than before. I always felt that I could treat people the way I wanted cause if people felt bad then that's their problem.

Man was I wrong!!! (again)

Life isn't all about yourself. It's a lesson I've learned after being in probably the best friend-circle I could find myself in. We live with other humans and we have to adapt. I didn't say change, I said adapt. Live and Let Live is a motto that the Corleone's follow and I being a part of them follow it as well. I realized that despite me being an intolerable ass, people refused to give up on me. The Jock was determined to turn me back into a believer. The quiet Bihari was constantly berating me for not attending college. The romantic kept reminding me of how I was just wasting myself away. And the Bhojpuri loving Bihari kept thwacking me (and still does) every time I bite my fingernails. I realized that there are people around here who give a damn about me and slowly I started doing the same. Life is all about mutual understanding. And we certainly do it. We just want to have fun. Sure we lose our temper sometimes, but we never keep things seared into our flesh. We take it in and throw it all out. But yes, we will certainly stand for our people. Unfortunately everyone isn't like that. Mutual understanding is hard to find and we realize that people don't really care about sentiments and never mince their words.

The same goes for penalties we suffer. A monetary fine for a simple brawl in the hostel is compensated by people who had nothing to do with it i.e. our parents. People have to understand that penalties which don't affect us will not lead to a person's reformation in any way. And people also have to realize what goes on in the mind of the person before them. If a person makes a mistake, forgive them. But what's more important is that if you retaliate to an error done by that person, the person must understand and learn to forgive and forget. But I guess that is a little Utopian.

The changes that have taken place in me are due to the fact that people never gave up on me. I now respect and understand sentiments, am trying to become a better boyfriend and give my parents the respect that they are most certainly due. And believe me, the feelings are most certainly reciprocated.

I guess in the end, one must understand that being an island is impossible. Man is a social animal and he simply cannot ignore the ones around him. My brother told me(he probably picked it up from Anthony Robbins) that one must treat a person the same way he wants to be treated by that person. We do that, I just wonder why some people can't......