Getting Along....

I don't really know when i turned an atheist. No, there's no incident linked to it. I guess one morning I just woke up and questioned the existence of something of which there was no physical proof. It brought a major change in me. Things were no longer sugar-coated and everything seemed to have a second side in it. But the worst effect of the change was that I became a cynic and erased every last shred of understanding in me. I wasn't a model son, a model brother, a model boyfriend or even a model friend, but I became (much to my surprise) even worse than what I was. Harsh logic came in and I felt that I could be an island and live myself. I snubbed my girlfriends, laughed when my friends prayed and scoffed at my parents for bowing to an idol made of plaster-of-Paris. Needless to say, I was definitely the model a**hole. Then I showed up here. My temperament didn't change even in the least. I made friends, but never discarded my attitude. I made a girlfriend, but still failed to treat her special. And my parents suffered my attitude even more than before. I always felt that I could treat people the way I wanted cause if people felt bad then that's their problem.

Man was I wrong!!! (again)

Life isn't all about yourself. It's a lesson I've learned after being in probably the best friend-circle I could find myself in. We live with other humans and we have to adapt. I didn't say change, I said adapt. Live and Let Live is a motto that the Corleone's follow and I being a part of them follow it as well. I realized that despite me being an intolerable ass, people refused to give up on me. The Jock was determined to turn me back into a believer. The quiet Bihari was constantly berating me for not attending college. The romantic kept reminding me of how I was just wasting myself away. And the Bhojpuri loving Bihari kept thwacking me (and still does) every time I bite my fingernails. I realized that there are people around here who give a damn about me and slowly I started doing the same. Life is all about mutual understanding. And we certainly do it. We just want to have fun. Sure we lose our temper sometimes, but we never keep things seared into our flesh. We take it in and throw it all out. But yes, we will certainly stand for our people. Unfortunately everyone isn't like that. Mutual understanding is hard to find and we realize that people don't really care about sentiments and never mince their words.

The same goes for penalties we suffer. A monetary fine for a simple brawl in the hostel is compensated by people who had nothing to do with it i.e. our parents. People have to understand that penalties which don't affect us will not lead to a person's reformation in any way. And people also have to realize what goes on in the mind of the person before them. If a person makes a mistake, forgive them. But what's more important is that if you retaliate to an error done by that person, the person must understand and learn to forgive and forget. But I guess that is a little Utopian.

The changes that have taken place in me are due to the fact that people never gave up on me. I now respect and understand sentiments, am trying to become a better boyfriend and give my parents the respect that they are most certainly due. And believe me, the feelings are most certainly reciprocated.

I guess in the end, one must understand that being an island is impossible. Man is a social animal and he simply cannot ignore the ones around him. My brother told me(he probably picked it up from Anthony Robbins) that one must treat a person the same way he wants to be treated by that person. We do that, I just wonder why some people can't......

Life, Love and Why.....

Ok, so it’s me back again. You guy’s must have guessed by now that this post as well is about yet another aspect of hostel life. Only this one includes people who aren’t exactly in our hostel but are still a major part of our hostel life. Now once I get back from college, I open my room and see my roommate fast asleep and see my bed for about 3 seconds. Then I just flop on my bed and with one long stretch, I’m out-cold for the next 4 hours. Once I’m up I turn around to see my roommate lying down with his face towards the wall and mumbling incoherently. My first instinct is that he’s simply talking to himself. After I concentrate, I see that he’s got the phone stuck to his ear. I grunt in humor and get up. I go to the room next to mine and see that one of the Bihari’s has his earphones on and is mumbling through his mouthpiece as well. I snort and quietly close the door and walk away. I groggily stagger to the Jock’s room where he sits on his bed (which I am not allowed to soil with my footsteps) and has his usual album’s playing at full blast on his laptop while he’s deeply engrossed in chatting. I look at the bed next to his and see that the romantic is missing. I don’t even bother to ask where he is as the answer is too obvious. Then I quietly go back to my room and flop back on the bed. I take a glance at my phone and what the small 2.8 inch screen mercilessly displays, hurts me no matter how many times I see it. “30 Missed Calls, 7 New Messages”. And due to the shame that washes over me……..I put the phone down and go back to sleep. After a while I’m woken up by any one of the Livewirez telling me to pick up my phone and talk to Shorty and finally I respond and talk to her for about 12 seconds and cut the phone and then listen to songs on my laptop.

Well this post is all about the girls in our hostel who don’t exactly live here but are a major part of our hostel life. Almost all of us came as free single youth’s to our hostel. But one by one we felt our fragile hearts flutter and we were trapped before we even knew it. I was the first one to go. Within just a week of being here and after 3 days of interaction I and Shorty were officially together. The next one to go down was my roommate. It was around midnight and he was talking very seriously on the phone. I and the romantic (who back then was a Jock himself) were outside the room wearing the same looks on our faces that relatives wear when they’re standing outside the operation theatre. Finally he cut the phone and looked down. The quiet Bihari went up to him and asked him how it went. The next thing we knew my roommate screamed like a madman and threw himself all over the Bihari who went falling on the next bed with an expression of shock on his face. Then my roommate leaped all around the room jumping for joy. The answer was evident. Finally we lost the romantic as well when he fell to the charms of Ms. Fresher. One at a time, Cupid took aim and all his arrows found their mark.

But things have appeared quite strange to me since the past 8 months. I see all my friends stuck on their phones and talking for hours at a stretch or chatting continuously. While I sit on my laptop reading, playing or listening to something and blatantly ignoring all the calls and messages and pings on my chat boxes. I somehow fail to comprehend why my bro’s put up with what we in the hostel call “Duty”. They drop everything at the drop of a hat and rush to their beloveds in haste whenever they are called upon. I mean what do these girls posses that makes us guys do things for them. Be it picking them up and dropping them down to their hostels, putting their photos as our desktop wallpapers, spending our whole day with them, taking them out and feeding them or even going across cities just to see them, even if it’s only once a week. Is it something that girls expect from us? Is it some form of criteria that we are meant to fulfill? If so, then I am a complete failure. Because I do none of the acts stated above. I’m aware of the fact that I truly am the worst boyfriend a girl could ever be stuck with. After many break-ups, all done by me, all I’ve done is gone from bad to worse. I hate talking on the phone or chatting with anyone. Far from picking her up, I drop her down to the hostel once in a blue moon. Even during college hours, I always leave and don’t bother staying back to spend time with her. I’m rude, sarcastic and sometimes downright mean. My temper is always at an all-time high and I can’t think of anytime when I have ever made her feel special. So while my friends score a perfect ten on ten, my report card shows me a minus 50 and I still don’t bother to do anything about it.

But when I think a little closer, I realize that we actually have a reason to do the things we do for the ones we love. And the reasons manifest themselves around us almost every day. The way they stand up for their boyfriend when he’s being picked on by his roommate, the way they hold you and calm you down when you’re taking an injection which is your greatest fear, the way they fret and walk around in circles when their guy’s gone to take matters in his own hands, the way they hold your hand and cut their 6^th anniversary cake together or even the way they’re still holding your hand and stroking your hair when you wake up in your hospital bed after 2 hours.

My friend says that going crazy in love is what love is all about. And I guess we do quite a lot of things for our lady-loves as well. Be it travelling 40 miles on every available holiday we get, or chatting for almost 12 hours even at the cost of one’s own sleep, or going back to your hometown so you don’t miss her birthday and even after getting caught by your parents still feeling that the whole trip was definitely worth it, or being a true Knight and protecting your Lady’s honor (even though she insists on being independent) or quite simply not thinking about yourself and being a parent for the time-being rather than a boyfriend no matter how rude and mean you have to be (and a rather bad-parent considering you forgive her mistakes all the time).

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that relationships are all about truly loving the one in front of you and getting the same from her. As long as that feeling exists, relationships go smoothly themselves. No matter how many faults and defects one may possess. Our happiness always lies the hands of those we love, be it our friends, our family or our lady-loves. It’s their opinion of us which matters to us the most and all that we do is done for their sake. I guess as people, we’re pretty ok.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

Back at home birthdays were events that come only once a year. So we used to take great pains to make the day special for us. Till the age of 14 making the day special for us was something left up to our parents. We'd go to school wearing casuals so we'd look different from the uniform-clad students(not knowing that we ourselves were wearing the "birthday-uniform" known in every school in India). By the time we were back, the house would be brightly decorated with ribbons and balloons and the house would wear a happy and festive look. Then the guests would start coming in, some with fake smiles and some with genuine one's. All asking the same question- "How old is he today?" even though they didn't care a damn. Then came the cake-cutting and the drab singing in a monotonous tone saying the same words "Happy Birthday To You". Finally it was time for us to open our gifts and finally go to bed satisfied.

Things changed once we crossed puberty. Now we'd wake up to our parents wishing us, giving us our gift and giving us a certain sum of money thus ending their role in the birthday. Then we would pick out a spot like "Pizza Hut" or "Hard Rock Cafe" and take our select friends out and treat them and expect no gifts in return. At that time I felt that all my coming birthdays would be something of this nature and believed every teenager felt the same.

Man was I greatly mistaken!!!!!!!!!!

Like I might have explained in my last post, hostel life is a major change from what I had been through and what matters to us in our hostel more than anything is the company we spend. Both these factors contributed to making even birthdays a whole new experience for me.

I think the first birthday ever celebrated in the great KP-1 was that of the ambitious and brainy showman. Not surprisingly, he dozed off on the eve of his own birthday forcing us to wake him up and pull him to the most happening room, D-76. The lights were turned off and the cake was cut with everyone singing the same words but in a different tune and some with different lyrics. And then came the part I had never experienced. Barely had he cut one slice, the cake was lifted up and smothered all over our faces. Little did I know that this was just the beginning of many birthdays’ to come.

The next one was mine itself however there was a surprise element. I had another Leo who shared my birthday. Yeah, the Jat with the itchy hand(check the last post) was born on the 4^th of August 91 as well. The initial plan being only to celebrate his birthday, I was surprised being pulled up from my room n taken to cut a cake which had been mixed up. This time everyone had shown up and both I and my compadre were smothered with chocolate cake(which I admittedly washed off my face with unhygienic consequences). This was followed by a toast in our room and for the first time I could say I had a birthday which was really fun.

The one thing about being in a hostel is that tensions can be dropped so very easily. All we need is an excuse to make us happy. And what better excuse than the shared celebration of two of the Bihari’s birthdays among the Livewirez. This time there were three cakes. I was vigilant and managed to make a run for it just before the smothering started. This time it was ruthless mainly due to the active participation of the lively and energetic “King of the Ring”. Afterwards we had one cake which was hidden from sight and the first cake we actually got to eat. But the best part was that I and my comrades in arms who had been apprehended for certain felonies were at peace and comfort and had completely forgotten the nightmare which awaited us.

And then came one of the most heavily celebrated birthdays in our hostel. You guessed it. It was the Jock’s birthday(yeah the same one who loves his share of English music). The King of the Ring beat us to the cutting table and everyone was happy to be there since the Jock is one lovable character(I know. Probably the only lovable jock you ever heard of..).Also the itchy hand had found it’s paradise when it came to counting the years on the unfortunate birthday boy’s back. I got to see new things. Like how you don’t need a DJ with his mixer when a simple Techie with a laptop can work wonders. How you don’t need a dance floor or liquor in your insides to just go crazy and dance even if you just can’t! And most importantly, the fact that the new year isn’t the only time to make resolutions(even if they don’t last that long).

And then came the romantic’s turn. The celebrations were the same as before, only with added gifts from you-know-who which made his face even brighter. The romantic shared his birthday with my father so I wonder whether Dad got his share of gifts from I-know-who! And I saw how powerfully love can manifest in days which are important to us when I saw the former “Tough Guy” sleeping with a stuffed bunny.

Finally the last birthday I can remember was the most recent and the largest bash which even had the warden in it. It was the joint birthday of the “Druggie” and of the most loved and respected person in the hostel. Considering I’m running out of nicknames, I’ll call him “Big Brother” for now.(do tell me if you all want it changed). One thing was confirmed, no one went hungry on "Big Brother's" birthday.(as if he would even let us..) and it was the biggest bash ever.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. True these were birthdays I had never experienced and the feel of celebrating them with the ones you love and adore is nothing short of bliss. But I tend to forget that this is only the beginning of five years. And there will be many more celebrations and many more ways to celebrate them. Not to mention the ones who escaped this year will be treated as such next year. And who knows? We might just take a flight and show up to celebrate those birthdays which occur during our holidays. I just wonder how horrible our birthdays will feel after these 5 years are over.....

The Corleone Family

Being in either a school or a hostel has a few forms of criteria attached to it! Each obviously different from the other. But one universal criteria that every student must fulfill is the criteria of "Family" or in simpler terms the criteria of cliques. In movies coming from the west, we see cliques such as "Jocks"(brawny bullies), "Geeks"(those who wear rubber thumb-caps so they can turn the pages faster in an encyclopaedia), "Techie's"(who download a truckload and never use neither share any of it), "Druggies"(need I even explain?) and finally "Preps"(who socialize well, spend well and score at an above-average level). Some schools in India have groups like these as well. And of course my hostel is no exception. As usual, in the beginning we were all friends. We hung out with everyone and had fun with everyone and anyone. Two months down the line, we started being with people we really want to be with and the groups started being formed. As of now I can roughly estimate four groups in existence at my hostel. Surprisingly it took only 3 months for these groups to be formed. And now after 7 months, we can't live without our group members.

However the question that used to itch at the back of my mind was whether we really were the best or if we just thought we were the best. After all, every group may just consider themselves as the best group of the hostel. True we had our batch of members who were different from each other by leaps and bounds. One loves his share of english music while the other adores bhojpuri music and plays hindi songs which I haven't even heard of. The only thing they share is their love for a punch-up. Then there's the "druggie" who's 'tried that' and 'had it' and the quite Bihari who just doesn't know when to give up whether it's a case or a moot. The only thing these two share in common is their love for being single and their intention of staying that way with no commitments or as they prefer to call it, "torture". Then you have the gamer who challenges my knowledge of softwares and is ready to take me on in any existing game and keeps himself equipped with an arsenal of entertainment against which even my 5 GB stack isn't of much value. And of course there's the Jat with the itchy hand who can't go 5 seconds without whacking someone and always makes us a party to his flowery vocabulary while there's the romantic who sleeps with a stuffed toy (which was a birthday gift from you-know-who) but always has his say in every matter and won't stand for any disrespect shown to any member of the group. In fact, come to think of it, our group IS unique. We've had our problems and issues but the truth is that we're ready to do what it takes for our comrades and we stand tall and stand strong. Our motive is simply 'fun'. And you can trust us to go to any extent to achieve our goal. So you could say that among the 4 Great Italian-American families that existed in the 1950's, we're the Corleone's and we wont have any Tattaglia's or Barzini's coming for the next 5 years. And you can deduce for yourself who's who from the image above. Just remember the dashing guy in green with the shades is yours truly.